Independence Day!

July 4, 2011

The stars at night are big and bright
Deep in the heart of Texas
-Gene Autry

Happy Birthday, America! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and proud parents of, we have a winner in the 2011 SST II Hot Dog Eating Contest: 1/C Michael Neimes, a strapping young Mustache Man who wolfed down ten dripping wet dogs and buns in under three minutes, exhilarating the capacity crowd as Old Glory waved triumphantly, fireworks parted the skies, and potato cannons launched tater tots into the sea. Poignant, such a fine display of floating patriotism; and further evidence—as if there were any doubts—of America’s unequivocal standing as the world leader in culture: boat, culinary, facial hair, and otherwise.

To be sure, today fun, sun and patriotism reigned wherever ye cast ye gaze (or ye fishing pole, for that matter, considering the lucky boy who reeled in a thirty-five pound albacore on behalf of Uncle Sam). That’s because, with the exception of a few naughty boys and girls assigned “extra duty”—ED—Sunday is a welcomed day off from the restrictive row-row-row-your-boat world of training ship life. Even yars! truly is allowed out of his Bat Cave deep in the heart of TS Empire State VI for part of the day to expose his anemic skin to the rejuvenating Mediterranean sun.

But, alas, I’m not the only one. No, when I refer to a loosening of restrictors, that goes for the belts of our monkey suits as well. Clearly word reached many leagues under that the beach party was going on aboard TS Empire State VI. No sooner had the first two litre soda cap popped than a school of bottlenose dolphins appeared and for many hours swam lead mere feet in front of the ship’s bow, occasionally leaping above water for fresh air, turning on their side to wave hello to us sunbathing matey’s. Getting to know you! Yes, sir! Eat your heart out, Discovery Channel!

-Curley